Tell your children that you are getting a divorce may be one of the hardest things parents have to do together, but creating a plan can help keep the conversation on track and ensure you help your kids move forward after an emotional setback. Children are creatures of habit and familiarity, so when they find out their parents are separating and divorcing, their immediate thoughts will be about what this means for their lives and routines. For parents not sure where or how to begin this challenging conversation, we have some tips for how to delicately approach the topic of your divorce and help kids grasp what this will mean for their lives.
4 Tips for the Divorce Conversation with Your Kids
- Don’t Wing It: This is a conversation your children will remember for the rest of their lives. It is also one that will set the tone for the divorce process for your family. It’s important that you and your spouse make a list together of the points you want to discuss and put together a plan for what you will say when the kids ask you questions – because they will definitely ask you questions.
- Avoid Fault and Blame: It’s possible that you and your spouse are not on the best terms, so it’s understandable if you’re struggling to work together. It’s important to work as a team to announce your divorce to your children and present a united front. The surest way to derail this process is to bring up feelings of fault and blame during the conversation. If the children ask why you are divorcing, it’s best to leave the answer in general terms. Seeing you and your spouse work together will help ease your children in the face of an uncertain future.
- Keep it Simple: You don’t want to confuse your children by broaching topics they may not understand or concepts they have yet to learn. Leave the details out because your children love you both. They don’t need to have a target for their displeasure about the end of the marriage or any unhappiness they may be feeling. Divorce is an adult concept that most children will not understand, so it’s best to leave the details to a minimum.
- Reassurance Them They Are Safe: Divorce makes children anxious. The family they count on for stability and safety is being taken from their lives, and they don’t know what that means for their future. Researchers found that children feel almost regardless of age felt emotionally disturbed when told their parents were divorcing. Your children will eventually move on from these feelings, but in the beginning, they need to be reassured they are safe and loved.
Contact a Compassionate Family Law Attorney Today!
As you and your family go through the divorce process, a compassionate and knowledgeable divorce attorney can help. Attorney Zyne has decades of experience and can schedule a consultation to review the details of your divorce and help you finalize it so you can begin to start a new life. Call us today at (305) 876-6138 to schedule a consultation or use our online contact form to request more information.