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How to Ask for a Divorce Peacefully

Asking for a divorce is a difficult task. Just because you want a divorce doesn’t mean you want to hurt your spouse any more than necessary. There is a way to ask and present the divorce that respects your time together. Whether you tried to make your marriage work for two years or ten, asking for a divorce will be hard. Bringing up the conversation and beginning the divorce discussion is all about timing and tone. Keeping the entire process as peaceful and calm as possible will not only keep the process less stressful but it will also help keep negotiations moving forward.

Here are some tips for asking for a respectful divorce, which can lead to a more peaceful proceeding:

Ensure You’re Certain: If you believe divorce is the only remaining choice, your spouse is surely on the same page, right? Is there are chance that your spouse won’t see this coming? Is it possible they think they are in a happy marriage? If there is anyway the answer to these questions could be yes, then you owe it to yourself and your spouse to make sure you are certain about the divorce. Maybe your spouse will understand your position and want to make changes – if they knew. Speaking to a licensed marriage and family therapist can help ensure you are both fully aware of each other’s feelings and the state of your marriage.

Timing is Everything: There is a right time and place for every activity and obligation. Choosing the right moment to ask for the divorce can be the difference between an open dialogue and an adversarial process. If you have children, plan for them to be away. If you are worried about how your spouse will respond, you should consider all these factors when choosing a place and time to have this very sensitive conversation. The ideal place is somewhere that is quiet where you will not be interrupted.

Remember Your Kids: If you have children, your divorce will be traumatic event for them. They will remember forever when their parents divorced. How you handle the event can reduce the fallout and lessen the emotional toll of the event. Children should never be exposed to the initial conversation regarding the separation or divorce. Let the children see you and your spouse united in your goal to end your marriage, which is possible if you reach out to your partner first and make a plan. If your children see that you and your spouse are supporting one another in the divorce they will feel confident that they will be cared for in the future.

Tone and Delivery: Telling your spouse you want a divorce is a serious conversation that requires a serious tone, but you can also approach the conversation with empathy and kindness. If you think your spouse won’t reciprocate your desire to end the union, you want to set the stage for acceptance. If you want until your spouse has done something to annoy you or that frustrates you, they could assume your divorce proclamation is just bluster, so you want to make certain you are clear, concise, and calm. The way you begin the conversation, and your tone will set the course for the remainder of the process. Start the way you mean to end.

Listening is Key: Once you’ve shared your feelings and desire for a divorce, you then need to be willing to listen. Be ready to discuss your thought process, ways to save the marriage, or even some emotional outburst. You don’t have to agree with someone to listen to them, so be prepared to take on the responsibility of your choices. Once you’ve done the hard work of listening, you may be surprised that your spouse is willing to also listen to your reasons for wanting the divorce. Open dialogue is the only way to proceed forward in an amicable and peaceful divorce.

Beatriz Zyne, P.A. can work with you to develop a strategy for your Miami divorce case. Call our office now at (305) 876-6138 to schedule a consultation.